Lana and LeLe

I attend small group each Tuesday night at the home of my Pastor his wife, Becky and their 5 children. Last year they adopted a child from Kazakhstan. This process brought Becky and I to become friends. Once they were home with Lana, I visited each week, just to chat with Becky and watch Lana in awe. She is a beautiful little girl and has had my heart in the palm of her hand since the day I set eyes on her very first picture.
I was over at their home last night and Lana was babbling, as toddlers do. However, when Lana babbles, it seems as though she is speaking Chinese. It is so funny! She just goes on and on like she knows exactly what she is saying!

Last night I had a dream that Rich and I adopted a baby girl from China. Her name was Lye, but she was called LeLe. I have to acredit this dream to Lana's Chinese babble!

Rich and I have talked about adoption, and I just don't think it is for me. There are so many elements of pregnancy that I enjoy, that is one of the reasons that we are "trying" again. Also adoption is so very expensive! Although, if I could be guarenteed that I would get a little girl just like Lana, I would do it in a heartbeat, but Lana is definetly one of a kind, crafted by the Father from the begining to be a Stewart.

I am blessed to have been a part of her life. She amazes me, intreguies me. I love to just watch what she does and I often wonder what is going through her mind. I don't remember watching my own children with such intensity and curiosity. I think part of the reason is that my children were all small at the same time. I was lucky to get to brush my teeth on some days! Yet another motivation for wanting another child. To take each minute and just savor the moment, to make each minute a permanent picture in my memory.

I start Clomid again tomorrow. Same dose as last month. I'm a bit worried about the side effects, I have been a bit stressed and testy already, without the added hormones!! There will be no blood work this cycle, as we will be in Cancun when I am due for it. So my OB said to chart and watch for the temp spike and hopefully we won't have to worry about b/w anymore!! So on we go to another chapter. Please continue to keep us in your prayers!!