Do I trust my heavenly Father? This question came to me tonight after my small group study and discussion. I know that I have faith in my Father above. Faith is the deliberate confidence in a God that you cannot see and may not understand at the time. I have faith in my Father. I do not understand what he is doing with my life and emotions right now, but I have faith that whatever his plans for me are, that I will be okay. I have faith that he will take care of me. I have confidence that at any given moment he could place a life within me. I believe that God holds all things in his hands and that he has the ability to do whatever he wants whenever he wants it to be done. I know that God loves me. But do I trust him?
When I think of this concept, it is hard for me. I have two earthly fathers. I have since I was a tiny baby. I have a biological father and a step father. My biological father was an every other weekend dad. Nothing more, nothing less. He picked me up every other Friday night and he took me home every other Sunday night. Nothing more, nothing less. I believe that he loved me in his own way. He was good to me when I was at his house, but I don't remember him being affectionate, loving or interested. I don't remember trusting him. I don't remember trusting him with my emotions. I don't remember expecting him to be more or do more than he did, just the bare minimum. My step father was abusive both physicall and mentally. He was never affectionate. He was mean and hateful. I was scared of him. I don't remember ever trusting him or even wanting to. As I have grown older, my relationships with both of my fathers have changed. We have been through some hard times, and we have mended some fences. I have forgiven both of them for past mistakes and that was a healthy thing for me to do.
However, do I trust them?
If I have never trusted an earthly father, do I trust my Father in heaven? Faith... believing... confidence... I feel these are very different than trust.
Do I trust my heavenly Father?
1 comment:
Oh my sweet friend, I know that with the pain of the earthly father, the concept of a heavenly Father that is much more then what an earthly one can be is hard to comprehend. I know that as you seek Him with even this struggle and open your heart to Him, He will truly reveal how much He loves you when your earthly fathers have let you down so severely. I don't know how and I don't know when....but I know He will if you seek Him with all your heart. It took a long time for me to get from my head to my heart His love for me, but I kept seeking and He did show me. I am no more special then you are and so I know He will do it for you. I am praying for you.
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