We're Done

Talks went on this weekend between Rich and I and the final out come is this. We're done.

If I know you personally, in real life, please read this entry very carefully. I cannot even begin to put into words what I am feeling. Please please please don't ask me about this right now. I cannot talk about this all yet. Please don't ask me how I am, please don't ask me why, please don't give me one of those big long hugs that don't take words to know what you are saying. I absolutely cannot handle talking about this yet. I know that this is not the healthiest way to deal with this right now, but it the only way that I know how. Will I be okay? Yes, I will be okay. Will I ever be able to talk about this? Probably, but just not now. Will I ever be fully complete? Probably not this side of heaven. I cannot express the war that is going on inside of me, and I cannot handle opening my mouth to answer one "Are you okay?". I will fall apart. Please respect my emotions. I want to continue to have friendships and relationships, but I am afraid that if I am forced to talk with you about this right now, I will avoid you, and I don't want to lose my friendships.

I know that this may be a rambled post. Let's just pretend like all of this TTC business never happened for now.

Please pray for me. If you have prayed for me in the past, if you have never uttered my name to the Lord, I have never needed your prayers more than I do right now. Please pray for me.