3dpiui

A picture of my three Miracles tonight.

That is 3 days post IUI for those not of the TTC world. That is where I am in my cycle, 3 days past the IUI. Nothing new to report. I am not tracking symptoms, it only makes me crazy! I will be sure to post the numbers from the progesterone on Monday. I do not feel overly optimistic about this attempt. Rich and I have actually been talking about the next cycle already. I think he is going to start on some vitamins and herbs, and I believe that I will go with the full dose of 100mg of Clomid next time.

Two of the ladies that I am in a "group" with on the infertility board I frequent got their long awaited BFPs this week! It was a very exciting board this week. I am so happy for them, and I hope and pray that these pregnancies will bring them their long awaited child next August!! I am hoping the pregnancy travels in threes!!

Here is a "poem" that I came across tonight on another blog.

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

~ Author Unknown ~

This touched me. With my first children I think I took many things for granted. They were all so small at the same time and I was so busy and overwhelmed. Some days I didn't even get my teeth brushed. Oh what I would give to go back and do it all again. To watch them sleep more often. To smell them, to nurse them just a bit longer. I long for one more chance, one more miracle.