Weekend

What are you doing this weekend?  Pictures of my weekend, with a REAL camera, to come.

Breath in the fall air.  Spend time with your family.  Slow down.  Live.

Whirlwind

The passed few days have been something of a whirlwind.  The kids are in full swing with Cross Country and Golf and Carnival preparation.  I'm in full chauffeur mode running here and there, sometimes literally, cheering my little runners on!  We are undergoing a huge kitchen remodel and have walls coming down and walls going up.  The drywall is finished and that has left us with drywall dust everywhere!  My home and I are in great need of a day of "stay home and clean".  With Rich being home in the evenings, it is more tempting to do this..

and if you follow me on Instagram (karilynn3) you will have also seen me doing this...

Tonight is the night, and I'm going to get some things done :)

On the foster care front... 



Another of my antique mall finds.



 We are still waiting.  Our licensing worker had told me to call in a few weeks and see where things stand.  I called Monday.  Ten days was good for me!  Usually I'm not that patient.  She called me back yesterday and said that they still didn't have my fingerprint clearance back yet and it could be up to six months because of some glitch in Springfield.  Oh ehm gee.  SIX MONTHS!??  Really??  Can someone please remind me WHY Rich and I about killed ourselves taking the expedited classes 90 minutes one way from our house?????  We could have taken the local classes and been done in plenty of time for them to get the clearance back for fingerprints.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I think the reason was our super awesome class and super duper awesome instructors that we had in Champaign!  They made it worth it.  I did call the company who had taken our Livescan fingerprints and also I spoke to the State Police who send the results to DCFS and they both assured me that our fingerprints were scanned on July 3rd and the results were clear and emailed to DCFS on July 3rd.  I called my licensing worker back to share this with her and see if I can make things happen any faster.  As I'm talking with my licensing worker she tells me about a situation with a four year old boy that is available for adoption.  She says that she needs to get further information but would we be interested.  I say yes, we would be interested in learning more about him and the situation.  She called me back (third phone call of the day) and asks if we would like to keep Mr. M for the weekend and see if it would be a good fit for an adoption placement.  Ummmm, ok.  I know nothing about his case, why he is in care, etc. but sure, he can come for the weekend.  I requested that she have his caseworker call me today so that I could ask some questions. Rich & I spent some time last night making a list of questions and pros & cons.  The questions we had were...

How old was he when he came into care?

How long was he in care?

How long was he back at home?

Why was he removed in the first place?

Why was he removed in the second incident?

How many previous foster homes has he been in?

Why aren't the previous foster parents wanting to adopt him?

Where is he currently?

Does he have siblings? Are they in care?

Does he attend school?  Where?

Does he have special needs?  Disabilities?

Does he have a special diet?

Are there any religious affiliations or objections?

We were feeling excited, anxious, scared, thrilled, cautious...all sorts of emotions.  I love this blog and went there today to see the latest post.  I still find it amazing when God shows up in unexpected ways.  Today He spoke to me and encouraged me through Glennon and this.  You need to see this.  It's awesome and it's powerful and it encouraged me this morning when I was feeling new foster parent emotions.

Last night we talked to the kids about the planned weekend visit and discussed some of his possible behavior issues.  I waited for his caseworker to call me today.  I got a call from my licensing worker at around 11:30 this morning and she was letting me know that she had spoken with someone at DCFS who assured her that the Springfield Central Office of Licensing had all of our information but that is where the hang up was for processing.  She gave me a contact number to call DCFS and speak to them about it.  As she was getting ready to hang up I mentioned that Mr. M's caseworker had not called yet, and she says, "ohhh, I'm sorry, DCFS isn't going to approve that."  I was confused.  "Soooo, he isn't coming this weekend?" I asked.  "Sorry, no, that isnt' going to work out".  Like it was no big deal.  To me, it is a big deal.  This is the second time that I have been asked to take a child and then the opportunity was taken away like it was no big deal. 

When I get a call about a child, I go through so many emotions.  It's like Christmas morning, seeing two lines on a HPT, my baby's birthday and the first day of school all mixed together.  Excitement and fear.  My brain is moving 100mph asking questions, making plans, praying for knowledge, praying for God's will.  To have these opportunities given and then snatched back is hard.  I wonder if it is typical.

For now, I have decided I do not want to be contacted by our agency until they are calling to tell me that they have our license.  I don't want any more of these 'maybe this will work out' situations.  I don't want any more false hope (take these classes and we will get you your license right away).  I'm going to spend the next weeks enjoying this beautiful weather, cleaning my house and nesting, getting our fall decorations out and soaking up the last days of being a family of five.

Khloe and I did take our one on one day out last weekend.



Chai Latte & Hot Carmel Apple Cider

We had a great time shopping in some small downtown shops, ordering new running shoes, eating at her favorite place, getting pedicures and painting pottery.  Liz is my middle child.  Easy going most of the time, loving, free with an I love you and a squeeze, nurturing, and just happy to be here.  It was great spending time with just me & her.

Enjoy fall ya'll!  Have a chai latte and snuggle under a blanket with your favorite guy!

A make over

We had our final visit with our licensing worker, well I had the last meeting.  Kids were at sporting events and Rich was working.  House was shinny and ready for inspection.  She came in, asked to see the locked meds, guns and fire alarms, asked if we had any questions and was on her way in about 20 minutes.  Works for me.  So we have completed our homestudy, she just has to compile the report.  The agency called my refrences on Friday.  Our licensing worker called me Friday and said that everything was done, now we just wait for clearance on the fingerprints and she had called Springfield and they said that they were very backed up.  I have no idea what "backed up" means.  I'll be patient for a few weeks, and then I will start making some calls.

We had a relaxing weekend at our house.  Saturday was spent taking a few walks...

 How many animals can you find in this pic?

And our favorite two year old came for a sleepover!

Kait and I went on a lingering shopping trip to our local antique mall and found some great finds!!  One is seen here...an old metal globe.

The purchase of an AMAZING rug led to a front porch make over that was long over due!  We had a yard sale a few months, ahem, a while ago, and my front porch was left in a sad state.

Very sad indeed!

But with about 45 minutes of work, this sad porch turned into a beautiful first impression!

How much do you LOVE that rug!!  It was my favorite find of the day!

I also found a great vintage high chair that I will share another day.  I also went to a new bible study group last night.  I get nervous when entering a new setting.  Will they like me?  Will I talk to much?  Will I fit in?  You know, the stuff that us girls still worry about even though we are out of high school. :)  So I asked a friend to go with me and I am so glad I went!  It is a group of moms praying for our kids and praying for our school and administration.  God showed up and I was blessed with the council and experience of another mom.  I couldn't help but wonder how many kids I will have in my care when we meet again in three weeks.

Today is Monday and I am coming off a slow weekend high.  We had minimal obligations this weekend and it is so nice to have a slowed pace.  Khloe & Drew ran in a cross country meet on Saturday morning and they both did a great job!  Saturday afternoon we went and visited my old friend "the gym".  It was good to be back.  I signed Khloe up for a running class twice a week, so it will be great to be back in the gym!  Sunday was church, then a trip to the grocery store to stock up on some healthy food and ingredients for some recipes I want to make this week.  I love the feeling of having a cart full of healthy, organic food for my family (minus the strawberry pop tarts that I snuck in there for me).  I got several walks in this weekend and a few driving lessons for this girl...

who is a horrible driver!!  Took years off my life I'm sure!!

I had an update on Friday for you about our Foster Care situation.  I ran out of time and didn't have a chance to include it in the post.  Friday we were scheduled for our final home visit for our homestudy.  Our licensing worker called and canceled saying that the final visit had to be done within 30 days of our fingerprint clearance and our clearance wouldn't be back in 30 days.  This is very frustrating.  We had our fingerprints done on July 10th.  Never were we told that it could take up to 90 days so have it done right away!  If we would have known that it would be October before our clearance was back we would not have taken classes 90 minutes away and crammed 9 weeks of classes into 4 weeks.  We did that because we wanted to get our license as soon as possible.  There were classes 40 minutes from my house.  They were once a week for 9 weeks.  That would have made so much more sense.  I'm sure that this is just one of the many frustrations that we will have on this journey.

The hesitation/questions about "if we are doing the right thing" continue.  Often, we will be doing something and I will think 'how will this work if we have little kids'?  Yesterday in church I had a pretty big "ahh haa" moment.  If you look back in the archives of this blog you will see years and years of my cries and pleads and prayers to God to give me another child.  Rich & I went to some pretty great lengths to try to make this happen.  The Lord said "No" time and time again. 

I was asking Him to serve me.  Give me my heart's desire.  Now He is asking me to serve Him.  I need to remember that.  This journey isn't about me.  It's about these kids that need a safe place, and showing the love of Jesus by loving them while they are with us.  Very humbling.

Lunch

Let's start with Lunch :)  A happy subject.  I really enjoy making lunches for my kiddos and my husband who is now working close to home.  It does take a while to get everything together in the evenings, but it's worth it to me.  My husband and I are re-reading The Five Love Languages (a MUST READ for every couple) and acts of service is definetly one of my love languages.  So making these healthy lunches for my family is "LOVE" for me.

Today's lunch was a little of this and that for everyone.  We are finishing off the week's supplies so it was a bit of a hodpodge.  usually Fridays are "Pack Your Own Lunch" days, but they had to do that Monday & Tuesday so I covered today :)  Two lunches looked like this one above.  Turkey & garlic herb hummus on a whloe grain flax seed wrap, half a pear, Sargento cheese stick, peanuts, pistacios, dried berries, chocolate covered raisins and a boiled egg.

All cheeses are not created equal.  Here are the nutrition facts on the Sargento Colby Jack Cheese

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size 1Piece (21g)
Amount Per Serving
Calories 80 From Fat 60
% Daily Value
Total Fat 7g 10%
Saturated Fat 4.5g 22%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 20mg 6%
Sodium 140mg 6%
Total Carbohydrate <1g 0="0">
Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
Sugars 0g
Protein 5g
Vitamin A 4% Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 15% Iron 0%
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs:

Click the link for some great snack ideas for Colby Jack Cheese http://www.sargento.com/products/69/sargento-colby-jack-cheese-snacks/

I have an update on the Foster Care situation, but I'm running out of time, so that will have to wait for another day.

Lunch Time

I have a confession.  I'm getting old.  It has taken me about three days to recover from our weekend events.  I've just been so tired!  So my kids had school lunch Monday & Tuesday.  I'm not a fan of school lunch.  I feel like a bad mama when they have to eat that processed food at school.  Last night I finally found the energy to put together four healthy lunches!

One of these days I'm going to use my good camera instead of my phone so I can get some good pictures to share.

Today's lunch included a whole grain bagel with cream cheese, turkey and lettuce.  Clementine, carrots and a grahamful.  The Grahamfuls are a new treat that we thought we would try.  The box claims they are 100% whole grain, no high fructose corn syrup, no artificial flavors and a good source of calcium.  They do have 5 grams of sugar which is a bit high for the serving size, but I'm using it as the dessert, so I don't mind.  I think the stats are pretty good considering it's a packaged food. I felt that there wasn't a lot to this lunch but the kids have been complaining that I'm sending too much.  All of the kids have sport activities after school today and when that happens I like to try to pack a little extra so that they can eat that after school before their event.  In the effort not to over pack their lunch, I didn't include anything extra. 

I came across this blog yesterday as I was Pinning. http://www.greenplaterule.com/health-nutrition/best-breads/  It is a great blog with lots of healthy tips.  I liked this article on breads.  Breads are hard to find healthy choices.  I try my best to incorporate the recommended servings each day.  It's difficult.  We don't eat breakfast, and I KNOW that is the most important meal of the day.  Maybe we will work on that.  Here are the servings that I try to meet.

Do you have any blogs that you follow that have healthy tips?  What are tricks that you use to help your family eat healthy?  Leave a comment and share.

Cold Feet

Over the passed few days I have developed a sort of cold.  Cold Feet.  I am really really good at worrying and "borrowing trouble" as Granny would say.  I’m starting to worry about how this will affect my kids negatively. I have considered how this will affect them, both positively and negatively, but I felt that the good outweighed the bad and that the bad would help them become better people in the long run. The negative for them would be that, imagine this…the world doesn’t revolve around THEM. I know they will have to share their parents, and that will be a change.

Can I share that MY KIDS ARE MY WORLD?  I know we all love our kids, but I love my kids to the moon and back, more than all the starts in the sky, more that all the sand on the beaches and in the ocean and then even more than that!  All I have ever aspired to be in life was a Mommy. I didn’t want to be a doctor, a nurse, a teacher…just a Mommy. While I am no where near the perfect mommy, I do my best and always put the want and needs of my kids first. My kids’ happiness is very important to me. I don’t like to see them upset, I don’t like for them to be disappointed, and I will do everything in my power to “make it better”.

So as we get closer to bringing children in our home, I am starting to get more apprehensive. I am worrying about how my kids will adjust, if they will be resentful or jealous. I am worrying about time and attention it will take away from them. I am worrying about opportunities that they may miss due to time or finances. I am second guessing our decision. I’m getting cold feet.

With changes soon coming to our home I wanted to put aside some time to spend with each of our kids individually. This passed weekend Rich & I spent the weekend with Kaitlyn in St. Charles. She was participating in the National American Miss Illinois pageant.

It was three days of alone time with our oldest daughter. It was a busy weekend, but a fun time to watch her shine on stage.

It was nice to spend three days just focusing on HER. There were other parents there with little ones, strollers and such, and I couldn’t help but think “I’m so glad I’m not trying to push a baby through these halls!”. She learned a lot this weekend and I think she wants to try again next year for the title. This pageant is a well recognized, well attended pageant and the top 30 selected into the semi-finals were obviously well versed in “pageant”. I’m all for my children setting goals and working to achieve them. Helping Kait achieve this goal would most likely be me spending money and time on pageant coaches, lessons and helping her build her resume with volunteer positions and activities. I am in a place in my life where I am able to do that. Financially and flexibility in my schedule. If I have foster children in my home, that won’t be the case.

I sent invitations in the mail for Khloe and Drew this week inviting them on a special date. Just Mom & Dad & you date. Drew wants to go drive go-karts and mini golf and we are taking Khloe to Fired Up to do some pottery and then they each get to choose dinner out. Just time to be with each kid individually and spend some quality time with them before big changes.  I'm worried about big changes.

I have also been wondering how this will effect my job.  We use the money from my job for travel, eating out, movies, all of the fun extra stuff.  Buying the kids things they really don't need.  If I have to take time off, or quit all together, could we maintain our lifestyle?

Also, it has been stressful to keep out house in tip top shape for these home visits for our homestudy.  I have three messy kids, a husband and a very busy life.  I work full time.  By the time I get home in the evenings, I'm ready to relax. Instead, I have to clean, and do laundry, and supervise homework and make lunches.  Keeping up with the house has always been a challenge for me.  What if we get a foster child placement and they are stressed because my kids leave their clothes all over the bathroom floor?? (YES, I know they should clean up after themselves but to save their lives I don't think they could put their dirty underware in the basket that is literally two ceramic tiles from where they stand!)  What if the current disrepair of our kitchen freaks them out?  Does the house always have to be perfect??  What if Lisa comes over for a supervisory visit and I have two baskets of clean laundry dumped on the couch and still haven't sorted and folded it (like now??)?  What if my floors aren't mopped or the dog has pooped on the floor (YES, I know he shouldn't do that, but HE DOES sometimes if the kids don't let him out after school)?

I'm totally stressing and worrying and wondering.  Then I remember that God has called us to care for these children and "Follow Him into the homes of the broken" and then I am humbled and ashamed that I am thinking of ME when there are children out there that are hurting that need a safe place to lay their head at night.  If God calls you to it then He will help you through it, right?

Lisa is scheduled to come on Friday for the final home visit.  I plan to keep praying and hoping that God will work out the details.  Maybe the dog will poop on the floor while she's there.