To be continued...

I knew when we started this journey into Foster Parenting that it would be a wild ride.  I have seen "the state" at work as I have watched my mom deal with things for the passed 28 years of her foster care experience.  I knew there would be frustrations.  Knowing things and processing them are two different emotions.  I called my licensing worker on Tuesday and left a message.  I called her supervisor and left a message.  I'm still trying to figure out where things are with our license.  I never heard back from either of them.  Yesterday at 10:40am I had a 13 minute conversation with my licensing worker and a case worker.  I saw her name come up on my caller ID and assumed she was returning my call from Tuesday.  I answer and she says "Hi Kari, it's _____, I wanted to talk to you about a referral."  My mind moves very fast.  I can have about 100 thoughts in 2 seconds.  My first thought is that I just cannot believe these people.  They can't return a call to let me know the status of my license, but they are calling me with a referral.  Unbelievable.  So I start asking the standard questions, how old is he?  How long has he been in care?  How many homes has he been in?  Does he have any medical issues?  And she puts his caseworker on the line.  The caseworker was very nice and answered all of my many questions.  She said that his current foster mom had given a written notice today.  She gave me all of the info and said she would be in touch.  That was almost 24 hours ago and I have heard nothing.  I am not good at being patient.  I am a planner and I want to know what the next step is.  I'm trying not to call them, trying to wait for them to call me, but I'm losing restraint.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up, as this is the fourth referral we have had, just the second "official" referral.  None of the others has come through so I'm trying not to get too excited.

To be continued when I know more...

Are we there yet??

We STILL do not have our license.  I truly just cannot believe it.  I never, in a million years, thought that I would be close to December 1st and not have any new children in our home.  Never did I think that I would be this close to December 1st and not even have our license.  The last communication I had with them was on November 15th, I was finally in touch with our licensing worker.  She said that the paperwork was sent to her supervisor in Champaign (yeah, yeah, the check's in the mail) and that we should hear news soon.  She said that if they were to get a referral that matched our criteria that we would be considered for placement.  I'm not sure I believe that.  I think the thing that frustrates me the most is that I feel the licensing worker is not being honest with me.  If she would have given me realistic time lines in the beginning, I wouldn't be so frustrated.  She makes promises, to appease me I'm sure, but then she cannot follow up with her end of the bargain.  I would much rather her just be honest and say "the paperwork will take four weeks to process from this point', instead of 'we will rush things through for you and scan things in and you will be licensed in two days'.  Then hide from me and not return any of my phone calls.  I would have much rather her tell us to go ahead and take the 9 week PRIDE course 40 minutes from our house because it will take six months to obtain a license instead of telling us that if we break our necks and pull 16 hour days and do the classes in 5 weeks she's sure that we can be licensed shortly after the class finishes.  Here we are eight weeks after we completed our PRIDE training and we STILL don't have even a license!!!  I can't help but wonder how long it will be from the time we actually get our license until we have a placement.  I wonder if this agency even gets referrals.  If they handle their referrals anything like they handle their licensing, I'm sure DCFS doesn't want to deal with them and would rather give referrals to other agencies.

I have called both the licensing agent and her supervisor today and left messages for an update.

I was praying this morning about this situation.  Again praying for patience, again praying for children that are currently in foster care and children that are in their homes but being abused or neglected.  I was praying for children that are out there that will be coming into our home and then I wondered if that will even happen at all.  I wondered if all of this delay is just God's way of telling us that these are not the plans He has for us.  And I prayed, again, for His guidance and His will to be done.  I prayed that He would make me His tool and to simply have me ready.  Ready to do His work, whatever that may be. 

I pray that when He calls I am ready.

I"m getting that fuzzy feeling

I'm getting that fuzzy feeling.  You know the one that comes around every year about this time.  When your heart and mind are full of jingle bells and big red bows.  Yes, Christmas.  I'm feeling very excited about Christmas this year.  I'm not sure why, becasue it will surley be a different kind of Christmas for us this year.  Every year for several years we have taken a trip at Christmas instead of giving our kids gifts.  We decided long ago that it was silly to spend money on gifts for them when they did not NEED anything.  We decided to give them memories instead.  We have taken them to Mexico, Jamaica, Punta Cana...it has been wonderful.  I look forward to that time of rest and relaxation.  My husband has travled with his job, being gone two weeks then home for the weekend and this was an important time for us to be together as a family and enjoy eachother.  Last year it was not 100% enjoyable.  The kids were a bit nasty to eachother and had a bit of an entitlement attitude.  We decided then that we would not take a trip this year.  So this year will be a bit tricky.  Again, I do not want to spend money on the kids when they don't NEED anything.  I would rather spend money on a charity or donating to other families or organizations.  I think that this idea of Random Acts Of Christmas is a great idea!  However...IF we have foster children in ourhome, I want them to be able to experience gits under the tree and the happiness of unwrapping Christmas morning.  It wouldn't be fair to have gifts for foster kids and not my kids...so we are considering doing this...

I would really like to be doing this...



Me & the kids, Jamaica 2008

but finances and attitudes don't allow for it this year.  Hopefully next year!

Things in foster care land continue to be very frustrating.  It was two weeks ago when our clearances came from Springfield.  I was under the impression that we would have our license shortly there after.  I STILL have not had a conversation with our licensing worker about what is going on.  She has yet to return any of my calls.  I called again this Monday and Tuesday.  On Tuesday afternoon I was frustrated enough to call her supervisor.  The supervisor explained that once she had the clearances she mailed them to Lincoln to our licensing agent.  Then she put the whole packet together and sent it to her supervisor in Champaign.  Then that supervisor signs off on it and mails it back to the supervisor in Springfield where she enters it into the system in Springfield and then we are licensed.  Doesn't that just sound like craziness?  You would think in the world of modern technologuy that system could be much simpler.  So as of yesterday the supervisor in Springfield did not have the paperwork.  As of today, I have not heard back from our licesing worker.  It's all very frustrating.  I thought I would have a house full at Halloween.  Now here it is almost Thanksgiving.  We usually get our Christmas tree the Saturday after Thanksgiving, but I am hesitant because if we do get foster kids I would love for them to be a part of cutting down the tree and decorating it.  What kid doesn't deserve to be a part of that?!  Our kitchen is currently in our living room because of a huge remodel so I think we will wait a bit to get our tree.  I am hosting an event on December 8th, so I will have to have things done by then.  Perhaps it will be after the first of the year before we have any extra kiddos with us.  Only the good Lord knows.

I had to share this photo of my girls from the weekend.  They spent the night at my mom's house and she was teaching them to crochet.  It's about the age when she taught me.  I love it.  I hope to make a lot of my Christmas gifts this year.  I find so many great ideas on Pinterest.  This is my gift ideas board here.  Pop over and get some ideas!

Hopefully next time I come here to post news I will be a licensed foster parent!  Hey, a girl can dream!

One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

 Family movie night continures to be a success! Last week was carmel apples and a special Starbucks Carmel Apple Spice.  Can you guess what the movie was?  The hot Carmel Apple spice drink is soooo good and really easy to make!  Did you know that you can buy Cinnamon Dolce syrup right from Starbucks??  For the recipe...heat apple juice on the stove or in the microwave.  Pour into fuzzy cups, add one teaspoon of dolce sauce and top with a dollop of whipped cream!  YUM!!
I had someone home sick last week...

This guy was so interested in the presidential election!  I love this picture!  I think he should run for president!

The girls could not decide what to be for halloween.  They ended up being a princess ballerina and a princess tap dancer.
















This guy was Willie Wonka and his friend was an Oompa Loompa!

















My mom had surgery last week so I offered to help out and take some of her kids for the day. I sure had my hands full!  I had 7 kids!  Two toddlers, two with ADHD and two teenagers!!  Overall it was a fun day!  I thought it was great practice for my foster care days ahead.

Nothing is happening on the foster care front.  We got word last Tuesday that our clearances were in and that my licensing worker was going to have the supervisor scan in our license and we should have it on Wednesday.  I didn't hear anything from them so I called the office Friday and she wasn't in.  I called again on Monday and she wasn't in.  I called her cell and she told me that she wasn't in the office but would get the license scanned in on Tuesday.  Tuesday she had an emergency and would have to get back with me.  We were approached last Thursday by a friend about taking a placement of a newborn that she was associated with.  I gave her the agency's contact information but never heard another thing.  Still waiting...

One Step Closer

We are one step closer.  I woke up humming this song this morning and I knew that we would get news today.  Final clearance came through yesterday from Springfield.  Our homestudy is complete and all information has been sent for final data entry.  Our licensing worker says we should have the license in our hands in about a week.  One step closer.

And Exhale

I feel like my life starts on Friday night.  My Monday through Friday is consumed with a job that is very stressful and draining and I often feel like I am holding my breath until I get to 4pm on Friday...and the I can exhale and breathe and enjoy my life.  The family and I are LOVING family movie night.  This week was a double feature of Madagascar 3 and Beetle Juice.  We had hot coco and delicious sugar cookies for our treat.

 Saturday was a very scheduled day.  Lots of errands to run in the morning, and a tea with my step-mom in the afternoon.  We visited Twigs Market in the morning to deliver our homemade laundry soap that we sell there.  You can find our Etsy store here: The Dixon Connection.  The kids and I love this little market!  They have so many wonderful things to see.  Bunnies and chickens and goats and ducks for the kids to play with, fresh produce, antiques, handmade items...it's a wonderful place and worth the drive out!

After deliveries we picked up grandma and headed out to The Mackinaw Tea Room for lunch.  They were having their holiday open house and there were beautiful things to see and very delicious things to eat!

 I did manage to find some time on Sunday to start clearing out the dining room in preparation of our new floors going in.  I came across some old pictures of the kids.  It seems like it was just a few months ago when they were this little!!

 The weekend had a perfect ending with a Sunday dinner at my parents' house roasting hot dogs and eating smores and apple crisp!

We have heard nothing new in regards to our foster care license.  It is my understanding that the Central Office of Licensing in Springfield underwent a large audit in August & September and that is why all of the clearances out of Springfield are being delayed.  I am just trying to be patient and trust in the Lord's timing.

Apples and monsters and pumpkins, OH MY!

We have stolen an idea from this blog and I am loving it!  Last Friday night was our second Family Movie night.  We made homemade carmel apples and a sparkling apple cider that I found on my beloved Pinterest.  The movie was Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  Drew ahs decided he will be Willie Wonka for halloween.

Saturday was a planned trip to Six Flags to enjoy Fright Fest.  We get season passes every year but have never made it down for Fright Fest.  It was a good time.  It was me and four kids, and Khloe was terrified of the monsters and we lost Drew at one point for a minute and a half that seemed like 6 years, but overall we had a good time.

Sunday was our annual trip to the pumpkin patch.  We didn't have Bella this year and we missed her.

I sure have some beautiful children.

Sunday night was dinner at my parents' house and some pumpkin carving!

There was a little time in between all of the activity for Daddy to catch a few zzzzz.  I couldn't help but take his picture.  He's such a handsome guy.                    

Nothing exciting to report in the Fostercare area.  Our agency is claiming that clearances out of Springfield are backed up and taking an extened amount of time.  I'm just frustrated with the whole thing.  Others that were in class with us have gotten their license.  Many people have told us to change agencies, for now I'm just trying to be patient and trust in the Lord's timing.



Weekend Review

We had a great weekend. We kicked off the break from school and work with a Family Movie Night. I made a fun invitation and taped it to each kids' bedroom door (because I didn't make it in time to mail it).

We had homemade carmel corn.  Oh YUM!!  You can find the recipe here.  It is a challenge to find a family friendly movie to share.  We ended up watching Home Alone 3.

Drew & Khloe ran their best times in their Cross County Sectional on Saturday!  Khloe finished the year at 14.59 and Drew finished his year at 13.10.  So proud of them both for doing an amazing job on their first year!!
We had another beautiful fall weekend here.  This weekend it was Drew's turn to have his special day out with Mom & Dad.  He wanted to go go-carting and he needed to get his shoes for basketball.  It was a total "boy" kind of day!

   

Daddy getting ready to race!

    

Me in my dune buggy!

The kids spent some fun times at grandma's house.  Fishing, raccoon hunting, cooking and hanging clothes on the line.  I made some yummy chicken & rice soup and banana bread.  I ended the weekend at a mom's prayer group where we prayed over each other's children and the needs of our school and faculty.  My kids need prayer.  Drew is a challenge to me and a bigger challenge to his teacher and classmates.  Kait is going through the age where friends are making different choices and she is feeling torn.  Khloe is feeling 13 and flexing her attitude Independence.  I set this as the wallpaper on my phone.  We all need to pray this for our kids.

The Simple Life

It's Monday, and I am heading back into the work week, still clinging to the fall bliss of the weekend.  I think I have decided that fall is my favorite season.  I used to think spring, but I think fall is taking over.  I love this time of year when the air cools and the leaves change.  I love all of the oranges and yellows.  I was walking to meet friends for dinner on Saturday and I was soaking in the trees and the fallen leaves and the blue sky and the perfect day.  As I grow older, I am better at slowing down and appreciating the moment.  Lately, I have been craving a slower pace.  Time at home.  Time to catch up and then relax with a book or a show on tv. Just being thankful for that moment and thanking God for blessing me with so much in my life.  Loving fall things like the annual bonfire at Grandma's and drinking too many Chai Lattes.

I can't help but to remember this time last year. I had just had a hysterectomy & both ovaries removed. I was home, I was resting. Each day I would get the kids off to school and then sit in my chair on the porch and read. I took naps, visited with my friend Nancy who came over and took good care of me. I did fall crafts and flipped through magazines. It was a peaceful time. It has been a mostly pain free year and I do not regret my decision to have the surgery.

After the disappointment of last week, and the process of obtaining our license in general, I was confirming to myself my decision to not contact the agency until we had received our license in the mail.  I thought..."I'm just going to enjoy my simple life while I still have it."  For those of you that know us, I'm sure that you would agree that we don't necessarily live a 'simple life'.  We are a very active family with three very active kids.  We usually have some sort of activity scheduled every night of the week.  It's rare that you will find us at home or with a blank date on our calendar.  If we are at home, I am cooking or cleaning or crafting or making laundry soap.  I couldn't tell you the last time that I was home for an entire day.  I couldn't tell you a time when all five of us didn't leave the house for an entire day.  That has probably never happened.  We are always on the go and we like it that way.  Our life is simple to me.  I know the schedule.  I post it on the fridge so that everyone knows what is going on that week.  I know my kids and their attitudes and emotions.  I know the routine, who needs to be where when.  Once we have a child/children placed with us, that will all change.

This weekend was good.

I sent out a text on Friday...Sunday Dinner at our house.  Celebrating fall with soup, bread and apple crisp.  Be there or be talked about!  Drew and I made apple crisp together.  I love that he will do things like this with me.

We had our girl for another sleepover.  We love her so much! 

It was a good weekend.  Too short.  I did get one room decluttered and I swept the floors, I didn't get them mopped.  I think that can be done by Wednesday night.  I did find some fall stuff and get it put up.  The goal for this week is to get the entry cleared.  I have been piling things there for a while and they need to find new homes.  Our week isn't as busy as the passed few since Carnival is over and Cross Country and Golf are coming to an end.  I challenge you to slow down this week and enjoy fall.

I will leave you with this video.  Every time I get frustrated, scared, confused, unsure about this adventure that is Foster Care...we sing this song at church and I feel like it's God singing peace into my soul and reminding me that this is NOT ABOUT ME.

I'll Follow You

Leeland

Weekend

What are you doing this weekend?  Pictures of my weekend, with a REAL camera, to come.

Breath in the fall air.  Spend time with your family.  Slow down.  Live.

Whirlwind

The passed few days have been something of a whirlwind.  The kids are in full swing with Cross Country and Golf and Carnival preparation.  I'm in full chauffeur mode running here and there, sometimes literally, cheering my little runners on!  We are undergoing a huge kitchen remodel and have walls coming down and walls going up.  The drywall is finished and that has left us with drywall dust everywhere!  My home and I are in great need of a day of "stay home and clean".  With Rich being home in the evenings, it is more tempting to do this..

and if you follow me on Instagram (karilynn3) you will have also seen me doing this...

Tonight is the night, and I'm going to get some things done :)

On the foster care front... 



Another of my antique mall finds.



 We are still waiting.  Our licensing worker had told me to call in a few weeks and see where things stand.  I called Monday.  Ten days was good for me!  Usually I'm not that patient.  She called me back yesterday and said that they still didn't have my fingerprint clearance back yet and it could be up to six months because of some glitch in Springfield.  Oh ehm gee.  SIX MONTHS!??  Really??  Can someone please remind me WHY Rich and I about killed ourselves taking the expedited classes 90 minutes one way from our house?????  We could have taken the local classes and been done in plenty of time for them to get the clearance back for fingerprints.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I think the reason was our super awesome class and super duper awesome instructors that we had in Champaign!  They made it worth it.  I did call the company who had taken our Livescan fingerprints and also I spoke to the State Police who send the results to DCFS and they both assured me that our fingerprints were scanned on July 3rd and the results were clear and emailed to DCFS on July 3rd.  I called my licensing worker back to share this with her and see if I can make things happen any faster.  As I'm talking with my licensing worker she tells me about a situation with a four year old boy that is available for adoption.  She says that she needs to get further information but would we be interested.  I say yes, we would be interested in learning more about him and the situation.  She called me back (third phone call of the day) and asks if we would like to keep Mr. M for the weekend and see if it would be a good fit for an adoption placement.  Ummmm, ok.  I know nothing about his case, why he is in care, etc. but sure, he can come for the weekend.  I requested that she have his caseworker call me today so that I could ask some questions. Rich & I spent some time last night making a list of questions and pros & cons.  The questions we had were...

How old was he when he came into care?

How long was he in care?

How long was he back at home?

Why was he removed in the first place?

Why was he removed in the second incident?

How many previous foster homes has he been in?

Why aren't the previous foster parents wanting to adopt him?

Where is he currently?

Does he have siblings? Are they in care?

Does he attend school?  Where?

Does he have special needs?  Disabilities?

Does he have a special diet?

Are there any religious affiliations or objections?

We were feeling excited, anxious, scared, thrilled, cautious...all sorts of emotions.  I love this blog and went there today to see the latest post.  I still find it amazing when God shows up in unexpected ways.  Today He spoke to me and encouraged me through Glennon and this.  You need to see this.  It's awesome and it's powerful and it encouraged me this morning when I was feeling new foster parent emotions.

Last night we talked to the kids about the planned weekend visit and discussed some of his possible behavior issues.  I waited for his caseworker to call me today.  I got a call from my licensing worker at around 11:30 this morning and she was letting me know that she had spoken with someone at DCFS who assured her that the Springfield Central Office of Licensing had all of our information but that is where the hang up was for processing.  She gave me a contact number to call DCFS and speak to them about it.  As she was getting ready to hang up I mentioned that Mr. M's caseworker had not called yet, and she says, "ohhh, I'm sorry, DCFS isn't going to approve that."  I was confused.  "Soooo, he isn't coming this weekend?" I asked.  "Sorry, no, that isnt' going to work out".  Like it was no big deal.  To me, it is a big deal.  This is the second time that I have been asked to take a child and then the opportunity was taken away like it was no big deal. 

When I get a call about a child, I go through so many emotions.  It's like Christmas morning, seeing two lines on a HPT, my baby's birthday and the first day of school all mixed together.  Excitement and fear.  My brain is moving 100mph asking questions, making plans, praying for knowledge, praying for God's will.  To have these opportunities given and then snatched back is hard.  I wonder if it is typical.

For now, I have decided I do not want to be contacted by our agency until they are calling to tell me that they have our license.  I don't want any more of these 'maybe this will work out' situations.  I don't want any more false hope (take these classes and we will get you your license right away).  I'm going to spend the next weeks enjoying this beautiful weather, cleaning my house and nesting, getting our fall decorations out and soaking up the last days of being a family of five.

Khloe and I did take our one on one day out last weekend.



Chai Latte & Hot Carmel Apple Cider

We had a great time shopping in some small downtown shops, ordering new running shoes, eating at her favorite place, getting pedicures and painting pottery.  Liz is my middle child.  Easy going most of the time, loving, free with an I love you and a squeeze, nurturing, and just happy to be here.  It was great spending time with just me & her.

Enjoy fall ya'll!  Have a chai latte and snuggle under a blanket with your favorite guy!

A make over

We had our final visit with our licensing worker, well I had the last meeting.  Kids were at sporting events and Rich was working.  House was shinny and ready for inspection.  She came in, asked to see the locked meds, guns and fire alarms, asked if we had any questions and was on her way in about 20 minutes.  Works for me.  So we have completed our homestudy, she just has to compile the report.  The agency called my refrences on Friday.  Our licensing worker called me Friday and said that everything was done, now we just wait for clearance on the fingerprints and she had called Springfield and they said that they were very backed up.  I have no idea what "backed up" means.  I'll be patient for a few weeks, and then I will start making some calls.

We had a relaxing weekend at our house.  Saturday was spent taking a few walks...

 How many animals can you find in this pic?

And our favorite two year old came for a sleepover!

Kait and I went on a lingering shopping trip to our local antique mall and found some great finds!!  One is seen here...an old metal globe.

The purchase of an AMAZING rug led to a front porch make over that was long over due!  We had a yard sale a few months, ahem, a while ago, and my front porch was left in a sad state.

Very sad indeed!

But with about 45 minutes of work, this sad porch turned into a beautiful first impression!

How much do you LOVE that rug!!  It was my favorite find of the day!

I also found a great vintage high chair that I will share another day.  I also went to a new bible study group last night.  I get nervous when entering a new setting.  Will they like me?  Will I talk to much?  Will I fit in?  You know, the stuff that us girls still worry about even though we are out of high school. :)  So I asked a friend to go with me and I am so glad I went!  It is a group of moms praying for our kids and praying for our school and administration.  God showed up and I was blessed with the council and experience of another mom.  I couldn't help but wonder how many kids I will have in my care when we meet again in three weeks.