Yep...that's why

These are the Moments

The past few months have been crazy around our house.  From January until last week, we literally had an event every single night.  My chiropractor usually gets a visit around this time of year due to my bleacher back!  Having three kids that are involved in many activities can make for busy days!  I have had many people ask why I don't make them cut back on their involvement, why we do it, why I feel like I have to be at every event, etc.  While the past few months have been insane, sometimes leaving the house at 8am and not getting home until 10:30pm, thousands of miles on the car, gas money that could be saved to put my kids through college, countless hours in the bleachers, wearing purple shirts for two months, sometimes wearing the same slacks to work two days in a row because I hadn't been home to do laundry, eating so much fast food it makes me ill to think about....


Kaitlyn is crowned 2013 Miss Peoria Metro Outstanding Teen and advances to compete for Miss Illinois Outstanding Teen in the Miss America Organization.  Khloe finishes out her 8th grade season of volley ball and celebrates on 8th grade night.  Drew completes a very successful basket ball season and sees the end of Park District ball with his team.





but these are the moments.  These are the successes.  The reached goals.  The friendships and relationships that they will make along the way.  The memories that will last a life time.  The confidence gained.  The structure needed.  The hard work paid off.  The hours invested worth it.  This is why I do it.

I will be there for my kids.  I will sit in the stands, I will sit in the hard bleachers 7 days a week, I will scream louder than the other moms, I will embarrass you when I yell your name, I will always be there.

Right now we are in the season of go go go.  They are all three moving in fast forward in three different directions.  It can make one weary and tired and it can even make a husband feel a little left out.  These days will soon be over.  I am blessed to have these little souls with me for such a very short time.  One day, and it will come sooner that I like, they will move on with their lives and it will be just me and Rich.  One day, they will be gone and I won't have car pool to drive or games to be at, so for now, I will be at every one.  So for now, I will soak it all in and be thankful that I am able to encourage them to be successful and chase their dreams and let them now that I will be there every step of the way supporting them.

We had a very exciting weekend as Kaitlyn was crowned 2013 Miss Peoria Metro Outstanding Teen!  This is a local preliminary pageant for the Miss America Organization.  She will go on to compete for the state title in June!  So proud of her!

 We were pulled over for a taillight that was out and this cop was great!!  He let us off with a verbal warning since we were "escorting royalty".  It was such a funny moment!

 After winning the crown on Saturday night, we were off to St. Louis to attend the Miss Midwest local pageant as visiting royalty.

Last night may have been the first time in WEEKS we have had a home cooked meal, and my family room may look like this... 

but life is good and my heart is full.

In the land of fostercare...

We have had the boys the past few weekends.  Last weekend we invited them to come spend the night and go to Drew's last basket ball game.  This past weekend their Aunt had a trip planned before they came to her so we kept them this past weekend as well.  It was good to see them again and we all enjoyed spending time with them!  They were so cute at Kaitlyn's pageant!  They were so excited for her!

I had heard nothing from the agency in over two weeks about the 7 year old girl.  I do not understand why it is so hard for them to communicate.  I left a very direct message yesterday morning requesting an update by the end of the day and they called me right away.  I was able to speak with the foster mom yesterday and we will set up a time to meet with the current foster family and the little girl soon.  The caseworker will be coming to the house next week to meet us and do a check on the house.  I'm not sure where this will go but we want to be open to possibilities.

Kait is a lead in her high school's musical this weekend.  She is the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella.  I hope it is a huge success!  Next week, basket ball is over, volley ball is over, cheer is over, play is over, pageant is over...I'm not sure what I will do with myself!!

Happy February

Valentines Day fun and crafts!

Happy february all!  Looks like I'm making a pit stop just once here this month.  January and February have been so busy for us!  Kait is cheering for high school basket ball and practicing for the upcoming school musical, Khloe is finishing her 8th grade year of volley ball and Drew is playing basket ball every weekend and practicing through the week.  We have literally been sitting in the bleachers 7 days a week!  It's been very busy.  Rich and I were both sick, fighting Influenza, sinus infections and ear infections.  Neither on of us get sick often, but this is how we spent Valentines Day...

Poor guy.  A round of antibiotics for us both and we are finally feeling better.  He was sick for over a month!  Not fun at all.

My mom was going through some old pictures and these were a few of my favorites...

 Look how sweet those babies are!!

We have seen the boys briefly since they went to stay with their Aunt.  Things for us have been so busy, it's been dificult to make the time.  I did invite them to come over this weekend and spend the night and go to Drew's final tournament with us.  Then next weekend we are keeping them for the weekend while their Aunt is out of town.

Since the boys left, things had been quiet on the foster care front, which was fine with me as we are so busy running right now.  I did get a call yesterday about a possible placement.  The situation is for a 7 year old that they are looking to place in an adoptive home.  She has been in a foster home for two years and the Center is looking for adoptive home placement.  7 is out of our age range...but after talking with Rich I think we are going to meet her and see how things go.  Adoptive is forever, so that is a scary step.  Prayers appreciated.

Just Guess

Just take a wild guess at who is rumored to be pregnant.  Remember this mess?  Where the whole foster care journey started.  Yeah, her.  She's rumored to be pregnant.  I'm not holding my breath, jumping through hoops or participating in any steakouts this time.  A baby will have to literally fall in my lap!

Revealed Glory

Peter 4:12-13- Do not be surprised at the painful trial that you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you, but rejoice that you participate in the suffering of Christ so that you will be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. This is the journey of our family. Attempting to fulfill the desire to grow our numbers while remaining in God's will. These entries are my thoughts, my questions and my fears.

When I started this blog in 2006 I was on a journey.  I was in my 20s I had a five year old, a seven year old and a nine year old.  This was my first post http://revealedglory.blogspot.com/2006/11/questions-with-and-without-answers.html  and here were my babies

It's hard to believe that this is where we are today.



Wow!  Time flies!  It really really does.  This blog has documented a seven year journey.  Mostly our quest for another child.  It documents my fears, my heartache, my yearning to be a mother to many.  I have poured out my heart, I have shared my struggles.  It's documented here in these pages.  This blog is like a book.  It is filled with pages, seems to be written in the chapters of our lives.  This blog has documented our search for God's will.  "Waiting for His Glory to be Revealed".  That has been our title and that verse has been my mantra.  Peter 4:12-13- Do not be surprised at the painful trial that you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you, but rejoice that you participate in the suffering of Christ so that you will be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

We suffered many trials.  The passed seven years have brought us trials and blessings as well.  For many years my infertility defined my every day and my every decision.  I was suffering painful trials.  I was waiting for the day that I would get pregnant and "Reveal His Glory", but that day never came.  A year ago I was finally in a place that I could peacefully agree to a hysterectomy that has improved my health in more ways than one, yet I was still "Waiting".  We considered pursing adoption, we decided to pursue foster care.  I was "Waiting".  I was "Waiting" for God to make my life complete by giving me another child.  Filling that need for another child.  Completing me and completing my family by giving us another child.

I remember exactly where I was when the feeling came over me.  I remember what I was doing, and how I felt.  I am 35 years old.  I have been married for 17 years to my best friend.  I have three beautiful, healthy children.  I have a good job, working vehicles, a beautiful home, a full belly, a loving supportive extended family, awesome friends...

I had everything I needed.

It was enough.  It was exactly what God had designed for me.  and I was ok.

In that moment, I was fulfilled.

Maybe it's my age.  Maybe it's the peace that I have begged and begged God for.  Maybe it's His perfect timing.  All I know is that it was Revealed.

God's Glory was Revealed and I had it.  I have it every day in these faces.

God's Glory is Revealed in Drew.  Drew who has challenged me more as a mom than my girls ever did.  My son who runs and jumps and rolls everywhere, never walking.  My son who will ask a thousand questions that require and answer, not a yes or ummhmmm.  My son that wonders why and how.  My son that prefers riding his bike or shooting hoops over any video game.  My son that will still let me rub his ears when no one is watching.  He struggles with impulse control, watching his mouth and being kind.  He is my baby and brings so much joy to my life.  My son that has ADHD shows me God's Glory every day.

God's Glory is Revealed in Kaitlyn.  My Kait who is growing into a very independent beautiful young lady.  My oldest who thinks she is going to get her driver's license this year.  The girl that scares the life out of my every time I drive with her behind the wheel.  My daughter that shines on stage with her beauty and her confidence.  My cheerleader with so much pep and always a big smile on the floor.  My intelligent girl, who needs to try just a bit harder to see her true potential in the classroom.  My oldest who made me a mommy for the first time.  My daughter that shows me God's Glory every day.

God's Glory is Revealed in Khloe. My Liz who has found being 13 difficult.  My girl that is always stuck in the middle.  My child with the biggest heart.  She may not always show it, but she loves bigger than the rest.  My daughter that is finding her confidence, on and off the court.  My smart Liz, who doesn't give herself enough credit in the classroom but has a bit too much smarty pants in my house.  My middle child who says she's moving to Colorado, but I'm sure will stay close always.  My daughter that Reveals God's Glory every day.

And God's Glory is revealed in my husband and my marriage.  It hasn't ever been easy for us.  We have had many hard times, but God has ALWAYS seen us through.  If you want to see trials and struggles and God's Glory revealed...look at us.  This man is my best friend, even if he drives me crazy.  He knows me and he gets me and he loves me, no matter what.  God has blessed us with a job close to home so that Rich can be home with us and be an active part of our lives.  That has been a huge blessing.  My marriage and my husband Reveal God's Glory to me every day.

God's Glory is all around me, all the time.  In a child, in a husband, in a marriage, in a moment, in a feeling in a prayer, in a victory and even in a trial.  God has richly blessed me.  I thank Him every day.  I am so very thankful to be able to say that I see it.  I see it now.  I see God's Glory.  It is revealed.  and it is Well With My Soul.

Welcome to the next chapter in our lives.  God's Glory Revealed.  Living it and Loving it.

Bittersweet

The passed 18 days have been difficult, rewarding, challenging, tender, frustrating, full, and much more.  These boys have had challenges in their lives and their behaviors show that.  Mixing their issues with our family has been a challenge.  There have been fights and arguments, attitudes and eye rolls, but there have also been unexpected hugs, smiles, and lots of squishy hand holding.  I will miss these boys.  They have taught me much in 18 days.

Tomorrow the boys go to stay with an Aunt.  Family is always the best placement.  I hope that she will let us be involved in their lives.  I told the boys last night that we would be friends forever.  I hope that is true.  We will tell them tonight that they are moving.  I don't know what to expect.  I hope it goes well.

A very good friend said it best..."It will be difficult for them to leave, but impossible for them to stay."

Day 12

Monday, January 14th I received a call at 11:00am.  Turns out the boys were placed in a relative placement for the weekend while DCFS completed their investigation.  Monday the investigator felt that she had enough evidence to remove the boys from the home.  The relative didn't feel that they could provide a home long term, so the caseworker called me and asked me if I could pick the boys up today.  The caseworker said she didn't know a lot about the boys but knew that they were "really sweet boys".  I asked my questions...were there special needs, what was the reason for removal, had they been in placement before...

This was it.
This was THE CALL.
This is what I had been waiting for.

I talked to my boss, made a few arrangements and was out of my office in about 20 minutes.  I wasn't sure what time I needed to meet the investigator so I went home to try and figure out where I was going to put 3 boys.  I had a set of bunk beds in Drew's room and two beds in Khloe's room that were white wooden twin beds.  I moved the white sleigh bed into Drew's room and put the fire truck quilt on it and it worked just fine.

They called around two and said to head to the hospital to meet the investigator and the Healthworks agent and pick up the boys.  My heart was beating so fast!  I prayed and prayed on my 20 minute drive.  I prayed God's blessing over this decision, I prayed His comfort for the boys, I prayed peace and strength for me and Rich, I prayed for acceptance for my kids, I prayed that I would be His tool and His light.  Once I pulled into the ER I could see them through the window and my heart beat faster.

What do I say?  God I hope I can smile without shaking. What questions am I supposed to ask?  What if I forget their names?  How will they act? 

As I came in I saw a very angry boy sitting in a corner chair with red rimmed eyes and a small boy with buzzed hair bouncing around the room drinking a diet Mt. Dew.  The investigator introduced me, the older boy refused to look at me or talk to me.  They quickly went over health information and put the boys in my SUV and I was driving down the interstate 20 minutes later.

Soon I was picking my kids up from school with two extra little guys in the back seat!  What a surprise for my kids!

It has been 12 days.  Rewarding, challenging, exhausting, trying, full days.  There was a lot of information that was not disclosed to us prior to the placement.  The oldest has a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder and has presented with many challenges.  He requires constant supervision and a very strict schedule to avoid meltdowns or outbursts of anger.  The agency is looking into possible relative placement.

Isn't he precious?

Going from 3 to 5 kids overnight has had challenges but has also forced us to be much more scheduled.  We are in full swing of basketball, volleyball, cheerleading and play right now so we are VERY busy.  So far, busy has been good for the kids.  The boys like to pay video games and would do it 100% of the time if we would let them.  We don't pay a lot of video games in our house, so that has been a challenge as well.

My new normal

We will know today if the boys are staying with us or going to live with a relative.  I have been praying and praying that God's will will be done and that the decision the agency reaches will be the best for the boys.  We hope to stay involved in their lives and provide support & respite to the relative if they do decide to move them.  I would love it if you would pray along with us.

No Go...take 5

The case worker called and said that the investigator was in the home and they created a safety plan and the children would remain in the home.  I'm not sure I want to know what a safety plan is.

It's a good thing that the state is working with families to keep the kids with their parents.  Kids with their parents is usually the best for all involved.

It works out.  I wasn't sure where I would put three boys anyway.

Another call

We got a call for 5 year old and 10 year old boys today.  Licensing worked asked if we could take placement today.  I said yes, depending on some background.  She said the investigator was on her way to the house and that the case worker would call me with more information if a home was needed.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Can you even believe it is 2013??  I know I can't!  It seems like November was a blur and I did my best to soak up every moment of December!  When I look at pictures from 2012 they seem like they were years ago.  So much has changed in our family this year.

That picture seems like it was years ago and it was just April 2012!

And this picture...was taken in June when we went to pick Khloe up from a 10 day stay in Florida with a friend.  It was only 7 month ago that I saw the ocean, or could afford to buy airline tickets for Rich & I to go pick up Khloe in Florida.  It seems like so long ago.  Our lives have changed so much in the passed 6 months.

Christmas was beautiful.  There was no trip this year, but I made an extra effort to soak it all in and cherish each moment.

We are missing our time with Miss Bella.  she has been spending more time at home, which is a good thing, but we miss her so much!

This was an awesome day!  We took a whole morning and just made cookies!  Love the memories!



These were some of my favorite shots from our Christmas card.

It was good. 

I can't help but wonder what God has in His plan for me in 2013.  I'm certainly not where I thought I would be.  I thought that we would have foster kids.  I never dreamed we would still have an empty rental house that is eating away our finances.  I couldn't have imagined that Rich would be working close to home and coming home every night after work.  I didn't anticipate a diagnosis of ADHD in my son and all the challenges that would bring.

As I look into 2013 I have some goals.  Not resolutions, simply things that I want to achieve in 2013.  I want to keep my house clean.  I love FlyLady!  I tried her system a while back and I just wasn't ready to commit.  After our large renovations in 2012 I have gotten rid of a lot of clutter and feel I can do better this time around.  I have been diligent at shining my sink and did a superb job on Saturday!

Blogger is having some problems with their uploads, sorry so blurry.

I want to try to slow down.  Not run as much.  Not always have 100 places to be.  I want to be more intentional about the time I spend with my kids.  More intentional in my prayers for them.

Things on the foster care front are just weird.  I called our licensing worker last week to schedule our 60 day monitoring visit and she randomly said she was going to call me about a placement.  It seems the only time she is going to call me about a placement is when I rattle her cage and call her and remind her that I am still here with three empty beds.  According to her some family stepped forward and they ended up not needing placement.  Imagine that.  Another here are kids that need a home...oh nevermind.  She said that we were the only home that they currently had that could take a placement for three kids.  That spurred some discussion between Rich and I this weekend.  We are technically licensed for three kids, but when we said we would take three it was meant for the extreme case of siblings that would be placed together.  I have a call into the agency to speak with them about the specifics of our placement status.  I think we are going to update them on what currently works for our family and if we don't have a placement by the end of this month then we will change agencies.  I think we have given this agency plenty of opportunity.

For today, I will enjoy my kids and my day to day.  I have very busy week of basket ball, cheerleading, volley ball and a few dinners with girlfriends.  For today, I will enjoy my life to the fullest.

We are Official

I finally feel official!  Our license came in the mail on Friday.  It is dated October 10/28/12-10/28/16 so that means we have been on the roster and/or in the system since 10/28.  I guess this is a bit more of a waiting game than I anticipated.  I thought we would get a placement quickly.  I need to remember that nothing ever goes the way I thought it would.

Our Friday Family movie night continues.  I had given the kids invitations along with their golden Polar Express ticket.  In the wake of the horrific events in CT on Friday I wanted to make things extra special.  I called Rich and asked him to clear the kids our of the family room and tell them they couldn't come in.  I asked him to hang some extra Christmas lights and make the night extra special.  I stopped to get the pizza on the way home, I had planned a few Christmas games and a sweet Christmas treat.  It was a very fun night and I love making these great memories.  The Christmas games were quick and easy as was the treat.  I would love to share so that you may organize a fun event for your family as well.

Christmas games
Fill a tray with random Christmas items.  Stocking, candy cane, pinecone, chocolate chip, candy, ornament, snowflake, santa and some regular items...a watch, a spoon, a red pen, etc.  Give your family 30 seconds to see the tray and remember all the items that they can.  Then remove the tray and give them pen & paper and tell them to write all they can remember.  We also did a word scramble like this one...http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/quizzes/wordscrambles/christmas.html.

Christmas Treat
Before we ate we lined a bar pan or cookie sheet with gram crackers, melted 1 cup of butter and one cup of brown sugar in a pan and brought to a boil.  We then poured the mixture over the gram crackers and baked in the oven for 8 minutes.  We let that cool while we watched part of our movie.  We then melted two large Hershey bars in a glass bowel in the microwave and poured that over the cooled gram crackers.  We played a game and set that in the fridge to cool.  We watched more of the movie then returned to play the other game and eat our delicious snack.  Very easy and a very inexpensive night.  Tis the season for making memories.

December

How in the world can it be December? How did I miss November? I can't believe that the Christmas Season is upon us already! 13 days till Christmas?? Less than two weeks?? Wow! I need to get my Christmas butt in gear! We hosted a Vendor Open House at our house during the Delavan Christmas Tour of Homes and my life has been consumed with that for the passed few weeks. Our kitchen project was slowly moving along and wasn't finished until 2 days before the event when it was supposed to be finished two week before!! Last week consisted of much rushing and decking the halls! Alas, Saturday came and the Open House was successful. Pictures to come. Now, my brain is clear and my plate has been cleared with a new one put in front of me to fill. Kinda like a holiday buffet if you will. 

Last weekend we went on a hunt for the perfect tree.  We usually get a short needle tree (the kind I like) but the kids begged to get a long needle this year so I compromised.  I had this scene in my head about how our tree hunting would go, and the scene that played out and the scene in my mind did not quite match up.  I guess we all strive to be "that perfect family", well at least I know I do.  The one with the happy smiling faces and the matching sweaters all strolling through the tree farm hand in hand singing Christmas carols...well that was not quite how our tree adventure went.  The kids were fighting, and yelling and talking to loudly.  One wanted this tree, one wanted that tree and I wanted the other tree.  We couldn't agree and there was just grumbling and grouching.  Things did not improve when we got home to put up the tree.  It was not a picture perfect event, but I took the pictures anyway. :)



Kait was determined to cut the tree this year.

 

The end result was a beautiful tree, if not a beautiful memory.  I think it's important to give ourselves a break every once in a while.  It's ok to have off days and it's ok if every memory isn't perfect.  It's what makes us a family and I am thankful for mine, even if I have two moody teenage girls and a preteen with ADHD who tests my limits every day.

I have had the opportunity to watch my very favorite Christmas movie...

ELF!  I love this movie!

Rich & started to watch this classic, but were interrupted.  I'll catch that one yet this year!

Foster care update...things continue to be unorganized and frustrating.  We got the call about possibly taking the almost 3 year old boy and never had confirmation on the status of the placement until five days later.  Foster mom changed her mind and didn't want him moved after all.  That seems to be what is best for the boy at this point, and I knew it would be a difficult decision for the foster mother and I prayed a lot for her.  I was ok with the news and trust that God has a plan for us.  It was still frustrating that the agency hadn't spoken with the foster mom before they told us about the possible placement, but I'm coming to expect this nonsense from them.  I did ask for a call from the actual case worker to go over the outcome, and she never took the time to return my call.  I called today and spoke with our licensing worker and expressed my need for better communication. I feel that she heard what I was saying and can feel my frustration so I hope that will improve the communication.  She did confirm that our license is actually in the system and approved and said we would get a copy in the mail soon.

I'm trying very hard to slow down over the next few weeks.  Do some crafts, bake some cookies, flip through a magazine, watch some movies.  I hope that you will take the time to do the same.  Enjoy the Christmas season with your loved ones.  Be blessed.

To be continued...

I knew when we started this journey into Foster Parenting that it would be a wild ride.  I have seen "the state" at work as I have watched my mom deal with things for the passed 28 years of her foster care experience.  I knew there would be frustrations.  Knowing things and processing them are two different emotions.  I called my licensing worker on Tuesday and left a message.  I called her supervisor and left a message.  I'm still trying to figure out where things are with our license.  I never heard back from either of them.  Yesterday at 10:40am I had a 13 minute conversation with my licensing worker and a case worker.  I saw her name come up on my caller ID and assumed she was returning my call from Tuesday.  I answer and she says "Hi Kari, it's _____, I wanted to talk to you about a referral."  My mind moves very fast.  I can have about 100 thoughts in 2 seconds.  My first thought is that I just cannot believe these people.  They can't return a call to let me know the status of my license, but they are calling me with a referral.  Unbelievable.  So I start asking the standard questions, how old is he?  How long has he been in care?  How many homes has he been in?  Does he have any medical issues?  And she puts his caseworker on the line.  The caseworker was very nice and answered all of my many questions.  She said that his current foster mom had given a written notice today.  She gave me all of the info and said she would be in touch.  That was almost 24 hours ago and I have heard nothing.  I am not good at being patient.  I am a planner and I want to know what the next step is.  I'm trying not to call them, trying to wait for them to call me, but I'm losing restraint.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up, as this is the fourth referral we have had, just the second "official" referral.  None of the others has come through so I'm trying not to get too excited.

To be continued when I know more...

Are we there yet??

We STILL do not have our license.  I truly just cannot believe it.  I never, in a million years, thought that I would be close to December 1st and not have any new children in our home.  Never did I think that I would be this close to December 1st and not even have our license.  The last communication I had with them was on November 15th, I was finally in touch with our licensing worker.  She said that the paperwork was sent to her supervisor in Champaign (yeah, yeah, the check's in the mail) and that we should hear news soon.  She said that if they were to get a referral that matched our criteria that we would be considered for placement.  I'm not sure I believe that.  I think the thing that frustrates me the most is that I feel the licensing worker is not being honest with me.  If she would have given me realistic time lines in the beginning, I wouldn't be so frustrated.  She makes promises, to appease me I'm sure, but then she cannot follow up with her end of the bargain.  I would much rather her just be honest and say "the paperwork will take four weeks to process from this point', instead of 'we will rush things through for you and scan things in and you will be licensed in two days'.  Then hide from me and not return any of my phone calls.  I would have much rather her tell us to go ahead and take the 9 week PRIDE course 40 minutes from our house because it will take six months to obtain a license instead of telling us that if we break our necks and pull 16 hour days and do the classes in 5 weeks she's sure that we can be licensed shortly after the class finishes.  Here we are eight weeks after we completed our PRIDE training and we STILL don't have even a license!!!  I can't help but wonder how long it will be from the time we actually get our license until we have a placement.  I wonder if this agency even gets referrals.  If they handle their referrals anything like they handle their licensing, I'm sure DCFS doesn't want to deal with them and would rather give referrals to other agencies.

I have called both the licensing agent and her supervisor today and left messages for an update.

I was praying this morning about this situation.  Again praying for patience, again praying for children that are currently in foster care and children that are in their homes but being abused or neglected.  I was praying for children that are out there that will be coming into our home and then I wondered if that will even happen at all.  I wondered if all of this delay is just God's way of telling us that these are not the plans He has for us.  And I prayed, again, for His guidance and His will to be done.  I prayed that He would make me His tool and to simply have me ready.  Ready to do His work, whatever that may be. 

I pray that when He calls I am ready.

I"m getting that fuzzy feeling

I'm getting that fuzzy feeling.  You know the one that comes around every year about this time.  When your heart and mind are full of jingle bells and big red bows.  Yes, Christmas.  I'm feeling very excited about Christmas this year.  I'm not sure why, becasue it will surley be a different kind of Christmas for us this year.  Every year for several years we have taken a trip at Christmas instead of giving our kids gifts.  We decided long ago that it was silly to spend money on gifts for them when they did not NEED anything.  We decided to give them memories instead.  We have taken them to Mexico, Jamaica, Punta Cana...it has been wonderful.  I look forward to that time of rest and relaxation.  My husband has travled with his job, being gone two weeks then home for the weekend and this was an important time for us to be together as a family and enjoy eachother.  Last year it was not 100% enjoyable.  The kids were a bit nasty to eachother and had a bit of an entitlement attitude.  We decided then that we would not take a trip this year.  So this year will be a bit tricky.  Again, I do not want to spend money on the kids when they don't NEED anything.  I would rather spend money on a charity or donating to other families or organizations.  I think that this idea of Random Acts Of Christmas is a great idea!  However...IF we have foster children in ourhome, I want them to be able to experience gits under the tree and the happiness of unwrapping Christmas morning.  It wouldn't be fair to have gifts for foster kids and not my kids...so we are considering doing this...

I would really like to be doing this...



Me & the kids, Jamaica 2008

but finances and attitudes don't allow for it this year.  Hopefully next year!

Things in foster care land continue to be very frustrating.  It was two weeks ago when our clearances came from Springfield.  I was under the impression that we would have our license shortly there after.  I STILL have not had a conversation with our licensing worker about what is going on.  She has yet to return any of my calls.  I called again this Monday and Tuesday.  On Tuesday afternoon I was frustrated enough to call her supervisor.  The supervisor explained that once she had the clearances she mailed them to Lincoln to our licensing agent.  Then she put the whole packet together and sent it to her supervisor in Champaign.  Then that supervisor signs off on it and mails it back to the supervisor in Springfield where she enters it into the system in Springfield and then we are licensed.  Doesn't that just sound like craziness?  You would think in the world of modern technologuy that system could be much simpler.  So as of yesterday the supervisor in Springfield did not have the paperwork.  As of today, I have not heard back from our licesing worker.  It's all very frustrating.  I thought I would have a house full at Halloween.  Now here it is almost Thanksgiving.  We usually get our Christmas tree the Saturday after Thanksgiving, but I am hesitant because if we do get foster kids I would love for them to be a part of cutting down the tree and decorating it.  What kid doesn't deserve to be a part of that?!  Our kitchen is currently in our living room because of a huge remodel so I think we will wait a bit to get our tree.  I am hosting an event on December 8th, so I will have to have things done by then.  Perhaps it will be after the first of the year before we have any extra kiddos with us.  Only the good Lord knows.

I had to share this photo of my girls from the weekend.  They spent the night at my mom's house and she was teaching them to crochet.  It's about the age when she taught me.  I love it.  I hope to make a lot of my Christmas gifts this year.  I find so many great ideas on Pinterest.  This is my gift ideas board here.  Pop over and get some ideas!

Hopefully next time I come here to post news I will be a licensed foster parent!  Hey, a girl can dream!