The Ups and Downs of Clomid

The second chart seen above is a normal basal body temperature chart, the top one is your chart on drugs!!!

Oh what a fun few days it has been! Hot flashes, tears at the drop of a hat, fighting to keep my mouth shut so I didn't tell off a police officer... I could go on, but I don't want to embarrass myself further!

I have been charting my temps for almost a year. The second chart is a normal chart. Low temps to start the month, then a drastic rise in temperature indicating ovulation. High temps in the last part of the month, post ovulation with a huge drop again when AF arrives (aunt flow, otherwise known as your monthly period). Now at the top, you see my chart for this month. I had a huge temp jump yesterday indicating that I may have ovulated. So I'm freaking out because Rich is in Chicago and I am 3 hours from there. I'm thinking, I have a fresh egg ready to be fertilized, and no Richard in sight!!! I can't do this by myself!!! So Rich and I had several conversations yesterday as to what to do. This could be ovulation, although it is way too early, or it could just be an indication of the hot flashes I have been having. So our options are... #1 Rich could come home so that just in case I did ovulate, we would be covered or #2 Rich doesn't come home and if I did ovulate we would miss the opportunity and this whole cycle would have been a loss or #3 Rich doesn't come home and we pray that I did not ovulate and that I will this weekend when he is home.

We had a very significant conversation yesterday afternoon about our options. Rich asked me how I would feel if he did not come home. I asked him if he wanted an honest answer or a sugar coated on and he chose the honest answer. I shared with him my feelings, letting him know that I would be very sad at the thought that I would have taken this medication and it would all be for nothing, but he was the one that had to make the drive so the choice was up to him. I told him that if he didn't make the trip I would be disappointed but that I would get over it. At 4:00 he called and said that he was on his way home. He got stuck in major traffic, and then got a call that one of his units that was to be installed was being delivered first thing in the morning. So he got home at about 7:45pm and left again last night at 9:00pm to make the 3 hour drive back to Chicago.

As you can see on the chart at the top (my current chart), my temp went drastically back down this morning, indicating that I indeed have NOT ovulated. However, Rich’s 6 hour drive of passion was still worth the trip. His willingness to make that drive, knowing that this may happen, spoke volumes to my heart. I know that trip was done more out of his love and support for me that for his desire to have another child. I told him last night…”It means more to me that you are here than it would have meant if you hadn’t made the trip.” This act of love will be one that stands out in my mind over the ages. It made me think, when was the last time I did something that I didn’t want to do, just to make someone else happy? When was the last time I gave, simply because I love? My husband does this frequently, I, however am very bad at returning the favor.

So as you see, there have been many ups and downs these past few days. Not only in my temperature, but emotionally as well. Rich will be home again on Thursday night, hopefully my body will cooperate and release that little eggie this weekend!